Waiting.. waiting
for the other shoe to drop, that is. It's a terrible place to be. It's not what I want from my life, this life. I pretend it isn't happening and then it catches me. Grabs me with a hahahah or is that a heeheehhee?
The unfolding recently has been so amazing. The aha moments have been so plain, so real. The life lessons are simple and weaved together. This change, this growth, this knowing, this belief is freeing. It's exciting. It can be overwhelming. I have learned to take time to let 'it' absorb. Let God work his magic.
I am learning to trust God and to trust myself. Those thoughts I hide are coming out. Those feelings or idea's....well, they are pretty right on!! It's so cool. It really is. To trust yourself. To have a thought and let is simmer, let it process, and wait to the knowing. God speaks to me in songs, written words, those around me. Through plain everyday happenings.
I have a small example of the things that have been happening to me recently. I hope I can explain it in a way that shows the emotion, the gratitude, and real life lesson. I have been given the opportunity to take a class called Designing My Practice. Two lessons ago we were handed a sheet of questions as our homework. We were to Design Our Practice. Write our plan. My first thought was how I'd like to teach or mentor others in my future. To combine my art with ... life lessons. I don't know the words yet. The whole picture but that was my first thought. Next was, how do I explain this? How do I write this? And finally, in all honesty, I don't know the other people in the class, my co-artist well enough to share this dream. This path I fully believe God has me on.
Two or three days later. In conversation with the Founders of 3231 Creatives where my studio is located, where I have felt is my college, my training, my schooling for the future. We begin talking about a teaching program and one of the founders said ..... you can teach this. Yes, I can. Gulp!! I am so excited by the lessons I am learning. The unfolding of the path. A look into the future. Almost everyday I get an Aha moment. Something I have written or thought and then sorta hid is right in front of me. Right there that says, yes, this is right. Your thought, influence, direction, it's right on track Sue.
I am even learning to make mistakes and forgive myself for them. I am learning to do something, even if it's not perfect. Then, to learn from it and move on. I am learning that the qualities that I have had all these years are good qualities. They don't work for everyone but they work for me and the people God is putting in my path.
I have come to a place where I am recognizing that I wait for that shoe to drop. Wait for the big laughter that says, hahahaa just joking. I believe realizing that I do this will help me to move past it. If not past it then to truly know that if and when the other shoe does drop, I'll pick it up and move on.
